How effervescent my week began, looking back on Sunday night and Monday it hardly seems possible I could've been in such a grand mood and felt so full of life and joy and all the possibilities for excitement seemed endless. But dammit how those things now feel so small and meaningless, in the grand scheme...if there even is one, those tiny rejoicings seem like specks that freckle a much larger body that is doom and despair.

I first off feel alone, then I feel misunderstood and attention grabbing..why oh why can't I just let myself go? To give completely to Christ, to not care what others do or say or think, to die to my flesh and live fully in the Spirit. Waiting on the Lord is SOOO hard and waiting patiently seems near impossible. But...."With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." That verse seems pretty cliche right now though. I just wish time machines existed, that I could return to Monday, that I could return to Spring Break and keep living that week over, that all the conversations where my words raced faster than my meaning.

This must be how it feels to want Heaven to come now!

THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE PICTURES OF THE YEAR. even though im not liking this season of secrecy and frustrations amongst, i love these times all the same. we look back on everything...

I got pretty upset a few weeks ago when someone said Nirvana wasn't a good band. WHOA! Watch those hasty words there fella! Nirvana felt like my sustainer throughout the middle school years, I remember thinking if they were still around in Seattle that I would've given up everything to trek across the country to meet them. Looking back on those years; however, it seems as though the biggest seduction of their music was Cobain's crazy voice. The strains and crys he makes, the yelling and wild pitches are what most likely got me hooked to this band. weird, huh....

to let you know.

"why is God so much more interested in the way I believe than in the way I live?"

Yes, that's right I am wearing shorts in this first picture and hooray it was just yesterday! These are updates, due to my inclination to only read other blogs instead of posting on my own.

• sitting in sun..wearing shorts..pondering over the continent of Africa
• sweet bicycles
• the confirmation that INDEED my car does have a parking pass, contrary to the many tickets it has received
• SHANNON'S LAZY SUSAN!
• a gorgeous group photo
• brittany's birthday dinner
• snow in richmond...woot, no longer!