I'm tired of debating, tired of convincing, tired of arguing, tired of adhering to the virtues of patience and gentleness and understanding.
It feels like I am not accomplishing anything and not capable of accomplishing anything. It seems like life is slipping quickly and uneventfully. I just want a job to do, any responsibility I could do everyday. But that would even possibly make me feel just as stagnant, because I'm measuring success by the results I think are present, instead of God's measure of obedience. Oh God, your ways are so NOT my ways.